Manataka® American Indian Council
By Manataka Elder, Chaplain Fred D. Wilcoxson PhD, PC, BCCC
When you die, you will be spoken of as those in the sky, like the stars. – Yurok
The rainbow is a sign from Him who is in all things. - Hopi
Whenever I read this story I think of the hundreds of deaths that I have attended. On far too many occasions the one who has died had never talked to anyone about their wishes for this time. I wonder how much more comforted the family and friends might of felt if this person had already answered all of the questions that they will soon have to answer. Sadness and mourning are a normal result of death. Joy, comfort, gratefulness can also come to compliment the grief. I believe that one of the greatest gifts we can give our loved ones is to remove a part of their burden caused by our dying. I encourage every one to take the time now to discuss your wants and desires when the end of your life nears or comes. The Five Wishes document is a good way to give them your advanced directives and your message to those left behind. Please pass this gift along to everyone you are caring for and care about. ~Chaplain Fred
and a Fork
There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things 'in order,' she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes.
She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in.
Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her.
'There's one more thing,' she said excitedly...
'What's that?' came the Pastor’s reply.
'This is very important,' the young woman continued. 'I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand.'
The Pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say.
That surprises you, doesn't it?' the young woman asked.
'Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request,' said the Pastor.
The young woman explained. 'My grandmother once told me this story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming...like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie... something wonderful, and with substance!'
So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder 'What's with the fork?' Then I want you to tell them: 'Keep your fork ...the best is yet to come.'
The Pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming.
At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket and they saw the cloak she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the Pastor heard the question, ’What’s with the fork?' And over and over he smiled.
During his message, the Pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. He told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either.
He was right. So the next time you reach down for your fork let it remind you, ever so gently, that the best is yet to come.
“So, while we rejoice that one we love has entered into the nearer presence of our Lord, we sorrow in sympathy with those who mourn.” ~Book of Common Prayer page 507
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