Manataka American Indian Council

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Feels Good

by Sallie Culbreth, M.S. ©2015 



 You read that right. Hate feels good. Hate is easy and gratifying. I know, I know - that's not exactly the "spiritual" thing to say, but if we're going to be completely honest, channeling all of your brokenness and hurt, betrayal and injustice into one, intense ball of hate energy feels good, at least for a while.


When you feel powerless, the intensity of hatred can obliterate that feeling. Hate feels like you're doing SOMETHING, especially when there is nothing else to do. Take back your innocence? Not possible. Rewrite your history? Nope, it doesn't work that way. But hate, well, hate is there - accessible, powerful, and exactly the kind of intensity that your soul craves.


Releasing hate is challenging because when you let it go (oh please do NOT start singing THAT song!), there is an "intensity void" that can mimic the feeling of being weak, and "weak" is something you probably do not want to experience. That's what most survivors run from with a great amount of energy - weakness. Weak, vulnerable, needy - all of these sensations create tremendous anxiety and our natural response to that anxiety is often hatred.


Of course, there's a down side to hatred and that is the heavy price you will eventually pay as it festers. Hatred steals you blind and consumes you with bitterness. It launches a spiritual coup d'état against you that actually diminishes your personal empowerment. Hatred will blind you, rob you of good judgment, interfere with your relationships, drain you of your energy, and take away your humanity. Hatred will turn you into the very creature that you loathe.


Neutralizing hate by releasing yourself from its iron grip is a formidable and effective strategy for reclaiming your life and empowerment. By making a deliberate decision to emotionally detach from hatred, you take both your history and your future away from those who harmed you. Each time you feel the intensity of hatred attempting to reclaim you, with great intentionality you can refuse to give it emotional or spiritual space.


Each time you do that - each time you push back against the intensity of hate - you actually become stronger, freer, and more in-control. Yes, hate feels good and is easy, but being free - releasing yourself - feels even better in the long run.


by Sallie Culbreth, M.S. - Founder ©2015, Committed to Freedom - Abuse Recovery Solutions -


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