American Indian Children in Sioux Society
By Belva Morrison (Sicangu Lakota) and Winona Locke-Flying Earth (Hunkpapa Lakota)

In every society, people aspire to the ideal when setting standards and making laws.  The ideal for Lakota/Dakota people concerning children and their upbringing is grounded in the Lakota/Dakota spiritual belief system and should be considered by those working with or parenting Lakota/Dakota children.  Despite the numerous mainstream religions that the Lakota/Dakota people are affiliated with, many still adhere to the traditional spirit/cultural beliefs and mores and that were preserved and maintained .  This belief system and the Lakota "way" were preserved by those who either managed to escape the boarding school experience, or through the memories of Indian people who participated in the ancient ceremonies and by the stories that survived through traditional oral history. These ways and beliefs were preserved by those Lakota/Dakota who took the ancient ceremonies "underground" when the ceremonies were outlawed by the United States Government, who regarded it a crime when "two or more" Indians were gathered.

The first concept to consider is the belief that before a baby was born on this earth, she/he looked upon all the people and chose her/his mother and father. For this reason, parents felt blessed to have this spiritual being come into their lives. A child was considered sacred having arrived from the spiritual realm. A child was respected and treated as capable of understanding the most important part of living on this earth- the spiritual nature of life. Many adults would observe the actions and body language of a child to interpret what might happen in the near future. For example, if a child played at building a fire to keep warm, then the adults would know that this play meant a cold spell was coming. Children were treated with special  loving care and never physically abused. The "beloved child" was one who was given extra attention; one whose moccasin soles were beaded because the child was held, carried, and loved so much. In the Lakota language the word for children is wakanyeja, "wakan" meaning sacred.

Fear, anxiety, and tension became a part of Lakota people's lives with the invasion of Europeans. The biggest change came when children and toddlers were taken from their loving, nurturing parents and relatives to be placed into Christian boarding schools for years at a time. Stories abound amongst the bands of the Sioux Tribe, telling of children dying of broken hearts while locked in boarding schools far from home. The heart wrenching grief that accompanied this tearing apart of the families echoes within the Lakota culture to this day.  The first generation of children raised without the loving care of their parents were forever deprived of the lessons of bow to be loving parents to their own children- For so long, Lakota/Dakota Oyate (people) have talked about the loss of language, values and morals, and traditional ceremonies but the greatest loss was that of how to be a loving, nurturing parent. The Lakota parents who had lived in the boarding schools during their developmental years learned that it was acceptable to beat a child for the slightest mistake. Lakota children learned the white values of individualism, mercantilism, and acquisitiveness. They learned that they were born of sin and that shame and guilt was the vehicle of learning what was acceptable, instead of the play acted scolding of older children, which was considered a duty and honor of older children to help with the rearing of a baby. Teasing was also an accepted means to teach moral development.

The process of healing will be slow and will take many more generations, than the time it took to inflict.  An open discussion with Lakota people and others from all aspects of both societies, Indian and non-Indian, must take place on a continuing basis. There are important points to discuss and consider in order to become more understanding of Lakota children and families. Consider the parents who have lived all of their lives within their communities and have never had a credit card, or purchased  a new car. Then there are Indian parents who have never lived on a reservation and have lost their language and culture who are still considered "Indian", in the political sense-, however, they do not know the exact nature of what it is to be an Indian. There are Indian parents who do not have an understanding of the grievous impact of what "termination of parental rights" means in the long term.  In fact, "termination of parental rights" has no meaning within the traditional Lakota society, because it is not an Indian concept.  The traditional Lakota parent cannot understand how judges, who are mere humans themselves, could sever the parent/child bond. It is inconceivable. It is "white man's law" and not spiritual law. Further, if the child chose its parents before birth, then how could anyone sever the relationship which the child chose prior to birth.

The extended family or "tiospaye" has a great importance within Lakota society and culture. That importance is reflected in the still common child rearing practice of a child to be "given" to a sister, consul, a grandparent or to other family members to care for, if the parent believes the child will have a more stable home. Often this is on a temporary basis and it is considered the norm rather than the exception. There are ceremonies within Lakota culture that can create a stronger bond of spiritual kinship than any legal proceeding within any court system ever could. This aspect of 'relationship" for children and their families should be given full consideration and foster parents should be mindful of this exception. There are ceremonies within Lakota culture that can create a stronger bond of spiritual kinship than any legal proceeding within any court system ever could. Tins aspect of ''relationship" for children and their families should be given full consideration and foster parents should be mindful of this and many other forms of "bonding" in in Lakota spirituality.

Numerous studies have shown that for individuals to have a  healthy sense of self worth and self esteem, they need to understand who they are. For an Indian child in a white foster home or white adoptive home, coming to terms with who they are as an Indian person can be a trauma-filled journey, with self-loathing, self-destructive behavior, loss of identity, loss of culture, loss of relatives, and the loss of a sense of belonging to a tribe as the tragic outcome. To deny children their inherent spiritual/cultural heritage by placing them in a non-Indian home can be equated to the acts of genocide that were perpetrated upon Indians even before the beginning of the reservation and boarding school systems. 

Marc Mannes, Ph.D„ of the Children's Bureau of the U.S. .Department of Health and Human Services, provided a historical perfective as part of his presentation at the 1992 second annual Indian Child Welfare Conference: "After all, it was the anguish and anger over the placement of American Indian children with families outside of their culture, acts that came to be understood as a form cultural genocide that secured the passage of the ICWA". 

However sometimes it is necessary to place Indian children in a non-Indian home when Indian homes are not available. Then it is imperative that the non-Indian foster parent find out about the child's culture, attend ceremonies, let the child know that the child is Indian and that the child is sacred, unique, respect and take steps to protect the child's heritage. The foster parent can develop their own "cultural plan" for the child and foster family even if it is not required of them.  Indian children should not be "robbed of their Indian identity and heritage due too circumstances beyond their control. Lakota children, as sacred beings, must be understood, accepted, and nurtured by those serving and parenting Indian children.

From the Nebraska Foster/Adoptive Parent Association Newsletter, Summer 2003.

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